For couples – Tips on sexuality

I’m going to let you in on some secrets about male and female sexuality.

Ok first off, sex is great but let’s face it, it only amounts to thirty minutes out of your day if you’re doing it right. So proportionately (1/48) it’s not the end of the world if your spouse doesn’t want it anymore, ok?

So guys, don’t go  on telling yourself stories in your head about how she is depriving you of your human rights. Just get over it!  Take that extra thirty minutes and try redirecting that energy towards a good workout. Go out and walk, jog, run.  Make yourself look good for her. Put in an extra thirty minutes each day at your job and work toward a promotion.   Make her proud to stand by your side at social events. Make her not even have to brag about how she was able to snag such a hunk.  Women want a man other women want. So guys, get to work! Let’s face it, you’ve got some serious catching up to do.

And ladies, yes your body is a sacred temple and the matrix of human life.  You’re a Goddess and worthy of worship and your man should kneel and kiss your feet every day but c’mon, you did marry the guy. Try giving him some sugar on occasion and if you take control over when and how it happens you can make it into something you’ll enjoy. Ok so there! Both men and women need to make an effort and get over themselves.

Intimacy waning is, perhaps, the greatest challenge to overcome in a long term relationship. And the problem is that intimacy means different things for men and women.  For women, intimacy can happen without sex but for most guys there is no greater intimacy than the sex act itself.

Truth be told, sex is not purely a mechanical thing for men. The orgasm is, which is why men will gladly masturbate if their only goal is to have an orgasm. In fact, men can achieve FAR better orgasms when they do it to themselves. No see, for a man, sex is far  less about an orgasm and a lot more about intimacy. Surprised?  It’s true though. Men long to immerse themselves in their Goddess; feel the doors of her legs opening and then closing behind him to finally ensnare him in the grasp of her temple. In some ways sex can be a highly spiritual act for a guy. This is where mainstream culture and movies have been lying to you for decades. Men crave intimacy, but the kind that produces life. It’s a feeling of togetherness coupled with wetness, nudity and absolute vulnerability and domination that makes sex such an attraction to a man. Trust me, if sex was just about orgasms, we wouldn’t bother going through the trouble of wooing a woman and losing all our belongings to her in an angry sex-regret litigation battle.  This is why women find sex robots (or vibrators) sufficient a replacement for sex. Whereas men will need to wait until their sex robots look talk, walk and smell like a real woman before they make the switch.

Now let’s look at women. For her, intimacy has far less to do with the body and a lot more to do with acts of service. This is because most women are descendants of Goddesses. Being serviced is in their DNA. The journey and companionship of a partner, their willingness to spend time and money on her. His agreement and acknowledgment. Making her feel validated, approved of, never judged and NEVER neglected. She must feel loved unconditionally no matter how many times she slaps him in the face. These are many of the attributes she longs for in a man and are the sex-equivalent for a woman.  A woman will gladly follow her man if she is deriving intellectual, spiritual and material benefit from him. This isn’t to say, however that she wants a subservient man. Quite the contrary. She wants a man she looks up to, never down to. He services her, yes, but she must always admire him and feel he brings her more value than she could ever bring to him. It’s not a coincidence that the knight in shining armor has become such a cliche for women’s fairy tales.

So yes, intimacy, you both want it, and crave it. You just want it in different ways.  Either learn to live without it or figure out a way to appeal to what the other wants.
See more of my work on soliloquiesonlove.wordpress.com

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