What follows is an observation that will offend many men and women. Therefore, consider yourself trigger-warned. Furthermore, in this essay, the sexes are spoken of in broad general terms as beings that are driven primarily by their biological mandates (a term that I will explain). Therefore, if you are highly sentient, it’s quite possible none of this may be relevant to you, but it may help shed some light on behaviors you have observed in your fellow bipeds.
It is within this framework that i am hereby using the terms “men” and “women.” Let us begin!
Why girls don’t like nice guys
A woman’s love for man has less to do with the man himself and more to do with what he represents. This is why men looking for women strive to have nice cars, nice clothing, nice houses and is largely why men feel so motivated to work hard and earn as much money as they possibly can. It’s not a coincidence that married men earn far more money than single men, even when the wife doesn’t have an income. Economist Walter Williams argues that men earn more especially when the wife doesn’t because she saves him time by taking care of other aspects of life so he can more intensely focus on bringing in the bacon. In other words it’s not marriage per se that causes the uptick in income but rather any partnership that increases its gains through division of labor.
In essence, men know that their value to a woman has more to do with his status than it does with what’s in his heart. This might also explain why geneticists are now showing that for every man in our ancestry there are close to twenty women. In other words many women gravitated toward very few men and many men didn’t even get to produce any offspring. Animals exhibit similar behavior when the female lets the males fight each other so she gets impregnated by the winner and therefore produces the healthiest possible offspring. That’s why you’ll rarely ever see a woman marry or date a man that is poor and dejected whereas a man cares very little for a woman’s financial status. A man might even love a homeless woman as long as she is young healthy and attractive. Conversely a woman could be attracted to the old, unattractive and unhealthy man as long as he is of high status.
These are trends that can be explained entirely through biology as has been extensively covered in previous essays. But what is perhaps most disturbing is that despite the years of intellectual and spiritual evolution endured by humans, that still so many of us find ourselves lead by these evolutionary mandates.
To explain this we could say that the male to female relationship is a predatory one. A man seeks a healthy host and egg for his sperm whereas the female seeks a host from which to extract wealth, extended family and resource to help form the bedrock upon which to raise her offspring. Consequently, once a woman acquires these things she will naturally gravitate to becoming a single mother. Especially considering that in the past, men were likely to die very young hunting or fighting off invaders, so biologically women are not accustomed to long term monogamous relationships. This is possibly why there is also an evolutionary pressure for men to naturally be inclined to spread his seed. Nature, in a sense, has rolled the dice with men and made women the stabilizing force for civilization. Unfortunately these behaviors only compound on each other and produce very negative evolutionary trends. Even those of us whom think we have overcome such biological pressures still inevitably may fall prey to them. One such instance is commonly referred to as the midlife crisis. This often coincides for many as they approach forty years of age and possibly 10-20 years into their first marriage. Men start taking an intense interest in other women as a last ditch effort to spread their seed and women start to feel claustrophobic and trapped within their marriage and a subconscious urge emerges within her to kick the man out of the house while keeping his belongings. His behaviors, of course, only serve to aggravate her urges further, as do her behaviors for him. This would explain why in countries where divorce is common, permissive and in the case of the US, even encouraged, most of them are initiated by women. This would also explain why when governments provide financial aid for mothers, that single motherhood will statistically rise sharply shortly after, as will having children out of wedlock.
All this being said, it should be quite obvious why nice guys tend to have a hard time finding a mate. Niceness is not a personality trate that is typically associated with wealth and high status. And even if the average earning attractive nice guy met a woman, she would feel a subconscious feeling of guilt emerge within her that would make her want to stay away from him out of consideration for the few belonging he already had. But even in the rare instance where a nice guy DID become wealthy and of high status (take an Elon Musk as an example for this), he will still have a hard time attracting a nice woman, for the same reasons. But also because predatory women will naturally flock to him and feel no guilt whatsoever getting rich by marrying and divorcing him every few years. Men have similar subconscious reactions to the “nice” girl. The nice girl, even the fertile, healthy and attractive one, will produce a similar distaste to the male, for he also feels the guilt of eventually hurting her when he decides to pursue other women. I believe, and observe that, for many, all of this behavior operates at a semi subconscious level. This is why men are turned off by virgins and women are turned off by nerds, even if they score highly on each other’s evolutionary needs.
It should then come to us as no surprise that as soon as governments make child support compulsory to fathers (and not husbands), that women don’t even bother requiring marriage of men before engaging in sex. And it should also not be surprising that when government guarantee stipends or tax incentives on a per child basis, that single motherhood climbs rapidly as do the number children born to the poor. People at the top of government know what they’re doing of course, but we wouldn’t fall prey to these perverted incentives if we knew ourselves a little better which is my aim in writing this essay.
I say it is time for men and women to grow up and take a second and hard look at the nice girl or boy that crosses their path so that they can make a long term commitment to forming a life long mutually beneficial partnership and once and for all, live happily ever after. Can you imagine what the future would look like if only nice people produced offspring? We might actually have world peace some day!