If I were to summarize the last eight years it would be “lies, lies lies!”
Lies from our politicians, lies from the media, lies from our friends, family and those that claim to love us.
It’s been incredibly sinister, suffocating and sad. So suffocating, in fact, that I believe it’s the very thing responsible for my writing being the way it is. I’ve been so desperate to find honesty, I’ve been so short of air, that I’ve been exerting my own self as honestly as I possibly could, even if it’s at my own expense. This way I could at least find honesty in my work and derive some oxygen from it.
I’ve stripped myself naked in a world where people are so layered in costume, they look completely unrecognizable. Like giant caterpillars without semblance of any humanity.
I’m sick an tired of this world. It’s a collection of lies and liars.
I threw in all of my chips and all of my cards at this one last chance to find honesty. To find something real. I threw everything I had. Gave away and risked everything I could. And to whom? Someone I loved. The ninth and final person I will love.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so perceptive and could remember things so clearly. If I was blind and forgetful, I might be able to live my days eating, shitting and sleeping with a smile on my face. But now even eating and drinking seems pointless.
My only solace now, is in the hopes that some of my writing will remain as a cautionary tale for those contemplating following in my footsteps.
Written by soliloquiesonlove.wordpress.com © 2017